Wrists: Update

So, I went to the hand specialist today to see about my wrists. He says that although I'm "very young" for it, it sounds like carpal tunnel syndrome, and that I'll need to have a nerve study done by a neurologist to see how bad it is. He also said that I appear to have two problems going on, the second being ganglion cysts in my wrists. This is what's causing my pain when I make 90 degree angles with my hands. Super fucking duper! If this were caveman times, I would most certainly be bred out of the gene pool. I try so hard to take good care of my body, but I consistently have problems. It's very frustrating to say the least. So, I'll know more after the nerve study is done in a couple weeks. I wouldn't be so completely anxious if MY PROFESSION DIDN'T INVOLVE ME WORKING WITH MY HANDS!!!

Fasting: revised

Well, I did pretty well with my fast yesterday. It's a different experience than before I had kids. A) One cannot relax and make it more of a "spiritual" and physical cleanse. Connor wants to GOGOGO just like always. B) I didn't realize that I'd have to be preparing food for a toddler all day long. When I used to fast I used to take that time to do other things and avoided food during that period. Not so much this time.

Still, it went well yesterday, considering. David caved at dinner time! I was pleased that there was no caffeine withdrawl headache this time. I did wake up with a nasty hunger headache this morning, so I decided to eat a banana. I think I'll do fruit and veggies only today. Maybe when my kid is older I'll go back to the longer fasting. It did serve it's purpose in making me think about things I never think about, and I do feel cleansed.

Rush

Ugh, I went and opened the kiln this morning. Just as I had feared, I have some small cracks on my joints. Sigh. Why do I rush work? When will I learn that I'm wasting my precious time if I rush pieces.....

Pacifier

When Connor was small I practically forced him to take a pacifier. I would have done almost anything at that point to stop the screaming! Fast forward 20 months or so, and here we are, taking his pacifier away. I was feeling so guilty about the whole thing, taking away his most precious comfort object. On David's brilliant suggestion, we decided to leave the pacis in the crib and cut of the tips, so there'd be no suction. It seems to be working! Last night he took longer than usual to fall asleep, but he still slept through most of the night. He woke up at 4:40, and we could hear him trying one "broken" paci after another. Then he started screaming. But, David went in, told him it wasn't time to get up, sang to him, and he went back to sleep for another 45 mins! Not bad, right?! So far, so good.....

Hunger

In America we're obsessed with food. As a country with more and more adults and children becoming obese, we're focused on how to eat less. Diet pills, programs, and exercise routines are on every channel and periodical cover. In this environment, it's easy to forget that much of the world is struggling to eat more, or anything at all. According to the UN World Food Programme,

"Despite the impression you often get from the media, emergencies account for less than eight percent of hunger's victims. Few people realise that there are over 963 million hungry people in the world who don't make the headlines -- more than the combined populations of the United States, Japan and the European Union. They are of all ages, from babies whose mothers cannot produce enough milk to the elderly with no relatives to care for them. They are the unemployed inhabitants of urban slums, the landless farmers tilling other people's fields, the orphans of AIDS and the sick, who need special or increased food intake to survive.
Above all, children, women and rural communities are on the frontlines of hunger."

I'm currently in the middle of a 2 day fast. I feel a little dizzy, and it's hard not to think about food or the fact that my tummy is grumbling and complaining. It's amazing and sad to me that this is how many people live their whole lives. Imagine the sorrow of hearing your baby cry from hunger, and knowing that you just can't make enough milk to feed them, because you don't have enough food to eat. Or watching your husband try to find work and provide, despite being malnourished.

I'm glad I'm doing this fast, it makes me think about things that I never consider. About people who are suffering out of my line of sight.

Learn more: http://www.wfp.org/hunger

Get ready for dizzy

Tomorrow I'm starting a 2 day fast and cleanse. I try to do this ritual every year when I'm not pregnant or nursing. For me, it's a spiritual/mental thing. No one is really going to lose much weight in two days, so it's not for weight loss. Almost every major religion in the world has periods of fasting, some longer than others. I like to use this time to think about how lucky I am to have access to quality food, and to think about how many people have this feeling of hunger OFTEN, and not by choice.

It's also a great time for me to kick my caffeine addiction. After it's over, I'll probably go back to one cup of half-caff in the mornings. Hopefully, I'll be able to stay on this "doseage" so that it won't be difficult if I want to get pregnant again.

I've been eating mainly fruits and veggies for a couple of days, and tomorrow I'll start drinking the Master Cleanse "lemonade" and decaf herbal teas. Then, on Saturday, I'll eat only fruits and veggies and ease back into my regular diet on Sunday. I've never done this before with a child, so we'll see how my energy holds up!

Change in plans

Today I was supposed to spend the morning working in my studio, but my babysitter called at the last minute saying that her son was sick. So it goes when your help has kids. Connor just about broke me yesterday afternoon with his whiny, leg-grabbing self, so I knew we needed to get out of the house. We set out for the park in the stroller, and it couldn't have been more beautiful out. It's been hot here lately, even for Tucson. But, today was overcast and cool (70 or so). We got to the park and we were the only ones at the playground for a very long time. What is wrong with Tucsonans? When it's sunny and hot, everyone complains about the heat. Then, when a cloud enters the sky and it's finally cooler, they hide inside in case it rains. Really, people?! Are you going to melt?! It did start to drizzle at the park while we were there, but we stayed until the playground equipment started to get slippery. It was beautiful and fun. I love summer rain! Sometimes the simplest days turn out to be the most fun.

Boise, ID

So, we just got back from our vacation visiting David's sis in Boise, Idaho. It's a neat place, I didn't really know what to expect going there. It's got a beautiful landscape with rolling hills and a river that runs through Boise. My SIL and BIL are super outdoorsy, and it seemed that much of Boise was, as well.

I went mountain biking for the first time ever with my SIL. Verdict: FAIL. I fell within the first five minutes and have some nice bruises on my legs now. I enjoyed the challenge of the uphill climb, but was TERRIFIED on the downhills. I should have known better. I don't like rock climbing, I don't like skiing, I don't know why I thought I would like mountain biking. I do not like feeling out of control going fast downhill on anything. Kristen joked that I needed the opposite of what most people pay for: I needed a truck to pick me up at the top of the hill, not take me to the top and let me ride down. I think I just need to face the fact that I'm not outdoorsy and move on with my life. I keep trying, and I keep disliking.

Connor had a lot of fun on the trip. On the flight out he was a tiny nightmare, but coming back was better. On the way out we were the people with the tantrum-y toddler. It was stressful, but we survived. My bribes lasted all of about 30 minutes, and then he was bored, fidgety, and crabby. I could have really used some Lorazepam.

Once there, we did a lot of fun things like go to the zoo, go to the park and on some nice walks, and go on a TRAIN RIDE! This was super-fun and the highlight of Connor's trip, for sure. It was a slow, family-oriented ride up through green hills and next to a river. Beautiful! I'm pretty sure Connor was trying to tell me about it the next day when he said, "Choo-choo, wa-wa (water)!"

My SIL and BIL were great hosts who tried to make us really comfortable. I'm always impressed with how multifaceted they both are. My brother-in-law is an engineer, a triathlete, and plays bass in the local symphony. My sister-in-law is a doctor, an athlete, and makes beautiful jewelry. Real underachievers! We got to see my BIL perfom in the symphony while we were there, which was really great. It was a nice performace. I can't remember the last time I went to see a cultural event like that! (Kristen was babysitting for us!)

As always, it was sad to leave them and I wish we lived closer. But, it is good to be back home and back to our routine. Now I've just got to get Connor back on his normal sleep schedule! Pics to come....

Idaho

We're going to visit my sister-in-law soon. I'm very excited about the trip. She's got some fun stuff planned like:

-A train ride, which Connor will lovelovelove
-A mountain bike ride with yours truly. I really hope I do not come back in a cast.
-David and I get to go on a date while she babysits! Hooray! We're going to dinner and then to see my brother-in-law play in the symphony.

I'm also very proud of my mad packing skills. We travel so often that I now have a list I keep on the computer which I can print out and check off, no problemo. Also, my SIL has borrowed a bunch of baby stuff from her friends, so less to haul! Hooray!

Unknown Name Unknown Number

I've been getting tons of calls with "Unknown Name Unknown Number" popping up in the caller ID. Does anyone actually answer the phone when it says that? I never do. I really wish people would just list their number in the caller ID, because they're not getting through this way, anyway.

The Pregnancy That Never Ends

What no one tells you when you get pregnant:

That your vagina and breasts will be forever ruined. Seriously. Ruined. Forever.

That you will now understand why otherwise slim-looking women are wearing tankinis.

That the circles under your eyes can't even be covered up with concealer.

That almost 2 YEARS after having a baby you will be making an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon to talk about pain and numbness in your wrist and hands. The pain and numbness started RIGHT AFTER YOU HAD THE BABY. Coincidence? I think not.....I'm really nervous about what this doctor is going to say because I obviously need my hands and wrists to be in good working condition for what I do. Not to mention the mother things that I do.

These are just a fraction of the things no one tells you.

White Trash

On Wednesday David and I planned to meet for dinner with Connor. I was on my way from the gym, he from work. Upon arriving at the restaurant, I discovered that Connor had not only pooped, but that it was a blowout. I called David and begged him to pick up a pair of Connor's shorts 0n the way there. I was supposed to go in and order for all of us, since he was running a little late. So, I change fussy Connor's diaper in the back of the car and get him all cleaned up.

We first go into the restaurant bathroom. While I'm washing my hands, my only-diaper-wearing-with-shoes toddler starts looking under stalls at the women using the bathroom. I apologize through door and get out of there as quickly as possible.

Next, I got to parade only-diaper-Connor up to the counter to order food. I feel compelled to tell the waitress why my child is in just a diaper. She gives and uninterested laugh and we place our order. Connor is now walking to our table in only his diaper, where we get many looks that clearly state "oh, look, a little white trash baby and his mom."

FINALLY, David arrived with the shorts and we could enjoy our meal. The next time I see little white trash babies, I will not be judging.

Three Years

Today I have been married for three years. People always say to me, "Doesn't it seem like time just flies by?" I do not have this chronological perception. Between the pregnancy from hell and the first miserable six months of Connor's life, it actually seems more like we've been married for many more years than we have.

We are actually celebrating our anniversary this Saturday by going out to dinner at the Arizona Inn. This is good, seeing as I have not even gotten David a card yet. I've been so caught up with work, I sort of forgot about our anniversary. Oops! I did, however, make Anniversary Brownies From A Box this morning, which we shall enjoy tonight.

I am looking forward to looking through our wedding album together tonight. We do this every year and smile remembering how wonderful our wedding day was.

Connor's little hands

There's nothing sweeter in the whole world to me right now than when Connor takes my hand. This morning at the park he all of a sudden reached up and held my hand as we were walking. He's not a big hand-holder, so this completely melted my heart. The feel of his tiny, soft hand in mine is something that I will remember until the day I die....It's one of the best mommy moments ever!

Gallery Opening at Deadwood Framing

My show opening at Deadwood Framing Gallery went great! The turnout was good, I had so many family and friends come out to support us! Here I am pictured with the two other "Clay Chicas," Judith Arnaud Gary (left) and Stef Greener (center). I sold a decent number of pieces, even a few to people I didn't know. It was so nice to have a night that was all about me and my work. So much of my life these days is about Connor, sometimes I forget that I'm a woman who has her own talents and interests! Hopefully this will be the beginning of a long and successful journey as an artist!